Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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