My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
