Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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