Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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