do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
