He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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