he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
