Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
