Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
