My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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