How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
