that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
