I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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