This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
