I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize