Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
