Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
