we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
