mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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