"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
