Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
