I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
