I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight