I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress