we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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