dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
