I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
