oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
