i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
