Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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