if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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