Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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