So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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