god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize