We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
