Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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