i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Farmville is her only friend.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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