I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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