if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize