we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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