HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize