Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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