This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize