I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
