Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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