you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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