Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
