Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize