Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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