then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
