I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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