I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The best revenge is premature balding
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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