Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
