If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize