then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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