im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
