I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So much rum. So many feels.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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