Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
