two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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